Talk to the Wall

Yes, it's true. I talk to my wall.

I have been known to talk to myself. Or talk out loud, at least. Sometimes it's how I just get thoughts "out" so they don't stay stuck in my head. Sometimes it's how I problem solve or motivate myself. I've just come to understand that it is part of my process. And, until now, given I'm writing it down for you to read, there has been no proof as I tend to do this when nobody else is around! lol

Of late, I find myself talking to my wall. Especially when I am struggling or upset or need to re-centre myself. I can't remember exactly when I started doing this, but it has been at least a couple of years. Why the wall? Because of a small little canvas that hangs in a grouping of art pieces on this wall. The canvas is simple, has a smattering of colours I love, and the word "FAITH" printed at it's centre. This word holds different meaning for me with each "wall conversation" I have. Sometimes it's faith in myself that I need to tap into again, sometimes it's faith in humanity, or faith that good will win in the end, or faith in a higher being lending support to this life journey. Often, it is a combination of all of these I'm trying to connect with.

I've discussed in a previous post about faith vs fear... and how we often have to push fear aside to let faith lead the way. I find that in order to really strengthen this practice, some form of regular ritual helps. And for me, that has become talking to the wall. This "conversation" will vary and can look like a casual conversation of processing life events and verbalizing goals and direction for myself. It can be more of a tearful cry for support in low moments of disappointment or uncertainty. Or it can be more reverent and prayerful. What I've come to appreciate about these moments, is how it brings me calm and order to a sometimes very chaotic swirling of thoughts and fears. It helps to re-centre me and bring me back to myself. It provides me with spiritual nourishment. Reminds me of who I am and what I am capable of. Pretty fantastic powers for a wall! :)

At the centre of it all, this little practice brings me back home. To myself and to my roots. I was raised in the church. I have always held an unwavering faith in God, although it has often been something personal that I keep to myself. Having a visual reminder of "faith" in the centre of my home, has given me what I've needed every time I see it. I'm still working on strengthening faith in myself... that I am capable of great things. That my voice matters and has value to others. Most days I know this, but there are a lot of weak moments when I let fear and insecurities win. I'm grateful for my wall. It might not be the world's best conversationalist, but how it speaks to me in return is always what I need in that moment.

If you struggle with fear taking over and knocking you off centre or out of alignment and don't know how to bring things back to a place of calm, I encourage you to find a ritual of meditation, or prayer, or quiet reflection that will bring faith to the forefront again. If you aren't sure where to start, feel free to adopt my method and talk to the wall!