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I Met a Guy at the (Hay) Bar that Changed Everything...

Ok. In truth he didn't change everything, but he shifted my perspective enough that dreams that were out of sight suddenly became visible again. And became even bigger! And who doesn't love it when that happens?

Lenny, the Hay Bar dude (Lenny the Llama, to be clear), reminded me of a dream I once dreamed of owning a country farmhouse & property and turning it into a Bed & Breakfast. I've had this little (not so little) dream percolating for many years. I haven't vocalized it to many people, perhaps because once you say it out loud its a little more real and open for comment, criticism, opinion, ridicule, etc. And nobody likes dream-killers. It's much easier to leave it inside my head as a dream that will remain just that, a dream. Part of the magic of vocalizing a dream, is watching how that initiates the process of moving towards the dream. Whether we reach it or not seems irrelevant. The process is the magic. It brings about growth and change within that wouldn't happen without the dream.

So how did Lenny shake things up? I could feel myself waking up inside -- I could feel how "at home" I was walking llamas and alpacas with my daughter and my best friend down a country road. It was a familiar feeling, but one that had been laying dormant. It truthfully had me researching and looking up how to raise llamas in Ontario, and searching for farmland for sale. The kind of waking up that initiates change. Upon further mulling over of new future dream, I believe to be less about bringing this dream to fruition, and more about having the dream. Again.

Having dreams for your future is important. They give you hope and excitement and something to look forward to. They act as motivation and give purpose to your actions. After a divorce or relationship breakdown, this can be an area that has a lot of emotion attached to it, and can serve to keep us stuck, not knowing how to move forward. I know after my own divorce, when I became aware that the future hopes and dreams I envisioned for our family and myself wouldn't happen, I was overwhelmed with grief. Grieving a future life I always thought I would have. I wasn't expecting those feelings over the loss of a future life. And it took some time to recognize that's what it was, and even more time to sit with it, feel the feels it brought up, and work towards letting go of those "future" dreams. This letting go will happen in your own time - have patience with yourself and remind yourself that healing has a different timeline for everyone. I believe the importance here is to acknowledge that it's a step that is necessary in order to create and envision new hopes and dreams for yourself. That are achievable and complement your new life situation. I encourage you to really take time to assess what you want your future to look like. And in doing so, be aware that a relationship (if you are in one again, or if you want that again) shouldn't be attached to the new hopes and dreams. It should act to enhance and support your vision. It helps us become strong in knowing who we are as an individual to be able to create this future picture for ourselves BY ourselves (meaning nobody else's opinion of a future is influencing how you create your vision). Allow people to walk into your life and be at home with the "dream future" you have created.

Be brave. Dream it alone. Dream it big. Thank you, Lenny, for reminding me of my dreams.

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